Meet Rebecca

Meet Rebecca!  She is Interaction International’s newest staff member and will be serving as our office manager and events coordinator.  Many of you will work with Rebecca before you work  with anyone else on our staff.  We thought you should get to know her a little.
And now, the interview you were waiting for.

Meet Rebecca: The Basics

Who are you?
Rebecca Katharine Lesan
Where have you lived?  And in which place does your toothbrush currently reside?
I was born in Zürich, Switzerland, have lived also in Kingston, Ontario, Canada, and in CT, MA/NH, NJ, SD, and ID, in the USA. My most frequently used toothbrush resides in Coralville, IA, but I also have toothbrushes in Bright, Ontario and in Slovakia.
Of all the places you’ve lived, what’s a must see or do in one of them?
Listen to the sounds in the Alps and eat fresh apricots from my cousin’s orchard.
In a nutshell, what’s your role at Interaction International?
I support the Interaction staff.
What part of that makes you want to get up and get to work in the morning?
I really love to serve families crossing cultures with the truth of God’s word.
Why Interaction?
I appreciate what God is doing here.
Rebecca's Current Reading
What book(s) are you currently reading/listening to?
The Bible, Megan Norton’s Belonging Beyond Borders, and Lauren WellsUnstacking Your Grief Tower.
What have you read/listened to in the last year that you would enthusiastically recommend?  Why?
James 1:2. Inexplicably, God can actually help us to live this out!
What about podcasts?  What are you listening to and why that one?
I prefer to have a lot of quiet time.
If we were in the grocery store in America, what treat would you make sure we had when we left?
Avocados!
What’s one of your favorite movies?  Why do you like it so much?
The Red Violin. The, music, is, so, good. I can relate to the way that the story is revealed in a non-linear way. I used to also like The Joy Luck Club, White Oleander, and Disney’s Mulan, Pocahontas, and Robin Hood. (There are some parts where it’s better to guard your eyes/ears.) Nowadays I will occasionally watch an episode of The Chosen.
Extra butter or extra salt on your popcorn at the movies?
Hm…I like to pick out the half popped kernels.
Who makes up your family?  Are there any TCKs in the mix?
My husband is also a TCK, from Iowa/Bratislava.

Meet Rebecca: Getting Beyond Basics

Who has been a good mentor for you? What have they done that makes them a good mentor for you? 
Jesus is my best mentor. I’ve also been blessed with generous parents, committed counselors, and excellent teachers. The best mentors can help me to grow closer to God even when I’m blind to something big in my life.

What are three bucket list places for you to visit?
The gardens, homes, and villages in heaven.

What are three bucket list experiences you would like to have?
I really would like to become a mom. I would also love to become an aunt. Someday I hope to release worship song music videos in Swiss Mundart.

Who are the five people (living or dead) that you would invite to a dinner party? Why did you choose each one?
I love spending time with multi-gen families.

Which person from the Bible, other than any part of the Trinity, would you like to sit with and have a conversation?  What would you like them to talk about?
I would like to hear from Joseph, about how he forgave his brothers.
What do you want everyone who reads this to know about you?
I value authenticity.
Marvel or DC?  Favorite character?  Why?
Disney. I appreciate how Pocahontas brought together two conflicting people groups through her love for both.
Thanks so much for taking the time to answer all my questions!  Aren’t you glad you read through all of this so you could meet Rebecca?  If you have any other questions for her, please write them in the comments.  One of us will be sure she sees them.

Looking for the New Right Fit–right now!

Puzzle Shades of BlueLooking for the Right Fit–right now!

(Update – we have filled this position! Check here to see other open staffing positions)

Interaction International is looking for the right fit right now for our Office and Events Coordinator Position. Are you the right fit?

The Office and Events Coordinator needs to be highly organized and pay close attention to details. They also need to be able to juggle multiple details and events at any given time.

If you’re the right fit, you’ll usually make it look as easy as it can be.  In fact, “Easy peasy!” might just be your catchphrase.

Because everyone at Interaction International works remotely, the Office and Events Coordinator will need to be an independent worker who takes initiative to get things done in a timely manner without a lot of direct supervision. If you like to be micromanaged, this is not the right fit for you.  If you see things that need doing and get them done, talk to us.

If you like researching the best prices and options for just about anything, you might be the right person for the job. We have multiple conferences and trainings that all can use a great place and some fun swag.

Do you like creating content for social media? Is graphic design a hobby? Do you thrill at a green SEO score? If you can say yes, to all of those things, you might be the right fit for the job.

If the sight of a well placed Oxford comma brings a smile to your face, you might be the person for the job.  Well written communication is a necessity of the job.  Oxford commas are a deal breaker; they are indisputably necessary.

At Interaction International, we most often use Google products for our everyday work tasks.  Occasionally we branch out to Word, but usually Google products make things easy for us.  If you’re familiar with those products, you might be a good fit.

Do repetitive tasks bring some flow to your life?  While not everything the Office and Events Coordinator does are repetitive tasks requiring minimal brain power, some are.  Envelopes don’t stuff themselves!

Do you love answering the phone?  Does your day look better when you need to make phone calls?  If so, talk to us!

What about the post office?  Does a trip to the post office bring you joy?  Do you love to choose fun stamps?  Do you love the thought of sending out letters and packages?  Do you imagine the joy of the person receiving whatever you’re sending?  You do?!?!?!  Let us know!

Does your passion and experience make you the right fit?

Are you passionate about TCK care? Do you want to make a positive difference in the lives of TCKs all over the world, but you wonder how you can do it in just 20 hours a week? You might be the person we’re looking for! Are you willing to work those 20 hours each week on an Eastern Time Zone schedule? You may have found the right place for your next job.

Do people describe you as culturally sensitive? If you are a TCK or have significant cross-cultural experience as well as all the things listed above, you might be the right fit for Interaction International’s Office and Events Coordinator.

 

Right Now

Interaction International’s current Office and Events Coordinator is ready to move to her next position at the end of the month.  If you’re the right fit for this position, it’s preferred that you start before she leaves.  We would love for you to have time to learn from the current Jedi Master Office and Events Coordinator.

Even if you think you match the stated criteria but can’t start before June, you might still be the right fit for Interaction.  We might be willing to wait for you.

Charlotte

Bonus Points

Do you think life is more fun as a competition?  It’s a good way to earn bonus points with the boss.  Do you live in the Charlotte, NC area?  That, too, might push you closer to becoming our next Office and Events Coordinator.  Graphic design and/or marketing experience can also push your score higher.

 

Interaction’s 5th President Bret Taylor

Interaction's 5th President Bret Taylor

Announcing Interaction International’s 5th President

The Board of Interaction International is pleased to announce Bret Taylor as the CEO/Executive Director. Bret has been instrumental in the revitalization of Interaction International over the past 4 years. We have full confidence in Taylor’s ability to maintain our historic roots while branching out to fill needs in global TCK care, especially in under resourced areas of the world.

Formative Experiences in Africa and Beyond

Bret Taylor has been a strong ally for MKs and TCKs for over 20 years. A graduate of Hope International University, Bret’s journey working with missionary kids (MKs) and Third Culture Kids (TCKs) began in Kenya. It was at a Rift Valley Academy senior retreat where he was introduced to David Pollock’s material on MK/TCK transition issues; he never looked back.

From 1999-2000 he served as chaplain at West Nairobi School where he developed a semester-long class for juniors and seniors to help them prepare for living in their passport countries. After returning to the States to be married to his best friend (Mindy Taylor), they joined Wycliffe Bible Translators to serve the MKs at the JAARS base in North Carolina. Bret took a program of half a dozen MKs and grew it to two MK youth groups, five bible studies, a leadership track, and founded Refuge 139, a quality TCK program for conferences.

For the past 8 years, Bret has chaired the MKCS leadership team. He is proud to be a founding member of the Shepherds Council where he is on the planning team of the International TCK Conference (scheduled for October of 2023 in Thailand). Recently he published his Adaptable TCK Model.

Tenure at Interaction

In his short tenure at Interaction, Bret took the lead in updating curriculum and publications that have been Interaction’s foundational pieces.  Under his leadership, Among Worlds was rebirthed into a digital format in order to be more accessible to TCKs everywhere. He led the team in overhauling Interactions transition seminars now called Transit Lounge and multiplied the number of programs offered. Bret and his team updated and then published Janet Blomberg’s devotional for TCK teens crossing cultures called Faith on the Move ) and its companion journal.

Flaith on the Move Journal

Faith on the Move

In response to the pandemic, Bret developed new initiatives to meet the needs of TCKs and their Caregivers. He created and launched new programs, including TCK Live (a live webcast discussing TCK issues) and TCK Connect (a weekly online hangout).

This past year, Bret led Interaction into a partnership with TCK Training to develop and launch TCK Care Accreditation. The initiative has created over 200 qualitative standards and metrics for evaluation. Sending organizations will be able to receive objective feedback on the quality of care they provide for the TCKs in their organization.

Bret has served as Acting/Interim Director of Interaction since March 2021. After initially declining the position as Interaction’s president, a year later he graciously agreed to fill the vacancy. The Board of Interaction International looks forward to his continued leadership and innovation.

Michael Pollock, the previous Executive Director, left Interaction at the end of 2021 to pursue work with his organization, Daraja, as well as other opportunities. The board is grateful for his service and wishes him well in his future endeavors.

Looking Ahead

Under Bret Taylor’s leadership, Interaction International will continue to build upon the 45 years of ground breaking work for TCKs started by David Pollock. Bret’s passion is to see better resources and networking in what he refers to as the “new frontier” of supporting TCKs; namely MKs/TCKs from the ‘global south and east” whose parents are working cross-culturally.  Interaction’s board is excited to see Interaction’s ministry continue to expand under Bret Taylor’s leadership.

 

An Adaptable Model for Adaptable TCKs

An adaptable model for adaptable TCKs? Doesn’t it almost seem required for TCKs to have an adaptable model? After all, TCKs and adaptable are practically synonymous. So why shouldn’t the TCK model be adaptable, too?

In this fourth and final offering of this series, I humbly offer to the Third Culture community a model I’ve been developing to visually express BOTH Third Culture and a Third Culture Kid (Thanks Ruth Van Reken for bringing to my attention my errant co-mingling of those terms).

The Taylor Adaptable TCK Model offers three unique features (hey, if you are dealing with TCKs, and there are three parts, that must be a positive sign, right?). First, it allows for and recognizes Passport and Host Cultures generally have at least some similarities. Second, it keeps the Third Culture distinct from the Passport and Host Culture. Finally, it invites an overlay of an individual’s TCK experience to visually express themselves and how they connect with other TCKs of different backgrounds in the interstitial space  we call the Third Culture.

I know it’s not perfect, and it has limitations. I concede there are some shortcomings to this model, and I will share some of those with you. If you find it helpful, I welcome you to utilize it (please cite your sources!). And if you don’t like it and want to rebuff my model…well I suppose I deserve it after my commentary on 6 Flawed TCK Models I did in the second piece in this series.

So here is the Adaptable TCK Model in its simplest form.

Simple Adaptable TCK Model

Sorry, was that anticlimactic? If you’ve journeyed through the previous posts it may feel like a low budget ending to a Netflix series you kept hoping would get better but just didn’t.

Before you close this tab to start searching travel sites for discounted international flights, hang with me a bit longer. Because I’ll unpack this model, add a few layers, and some explanations.  Then you will be free to move about the cabin (this quip inspired because I’m literally writing this on an airplane).

Ada[table TCK Model

Was that too much too fast? Well, like a movie that teases you with the climactic scenes at the opening, I’m now going to start back at the beginning and add the layers back little by little. 

A quick side note. Sheryl O’Bryan and I have been wrestling with the terms “Host Culture” and “Passport Culture.” Along with many others of you in the TCK community, you’ve probably been frustrated by issues caused by these descriptions. So, in a future article we will share with you our wrestling through these common TCK descriptors and suggest some potential alternatives. But for now I’ll continue to use these terms.

Back to the Adaptable TCK Model

In developing the Adaptable TCK Model, I began with the “Passport” and “Host” culture. I put them in vertical alignment because portrait looks better on Instagram- just kidding. In actuality that decision on the configuration had more to do with the influences of the two cultures and positionally how I wanted the Third Culture to interplay with them.

Adaptable TCK Model Building Blocks

In my model I’ve intentionally arranged Passport Culture at the bottom and Host Culture on the top. The Passport Culture is the “root culture” if you will of a TCK. Their foundation. So, I chose to put this on the bottom. The other cultures from Host countries press in and build upon this cultural foundation. While TCKs may be saturated in their Host Culture through the majority of the day, the culture of their parents, their Passport Culture, is waiting for them each night when they get home, and it greets them the first thing every morning. No matter how many other Host Cultures are added, the “Passport Culture” remains a rare constant in their life experience.

In the Adaptable TCK Model, the nature of a Venn Diagram allows the overlay and intersectionality of the two cultural circles to show commonalities that exist between them. Host and Passport Cultures are not enemies or in opposition to one another. In fact they typically have at least some shared values, ideals, and practices. I believe it is valuable to acknowledge both the similarities and differences between cultures at play in a TCK’s life.

When you replace the generic “Host” and “Passport” with specific cultures, you have an opportunity to now reflect how much the two cultures interplay (thus the first reason why it’s an adaptable model).

Below are examples of how in application you would adjust the model to show the real-world interplay of the Passport Culture versus the Host Culture.

Adaptable TCK Model illustrating relationship between host culture and passport culture

I believe there is value in having TCKs take stock of the cultural differences between their Passport and Host countries. Cultures that are very similar still have differences, and having an awareness of those differences can help reduce shock. On the other hand, cultures that seem to have very little in common still have areas of overlap. This is valuable to acknowledge when you are experiencing high stress and feel like everything is turned upside down.

In the three examples above I’ve suggested how different pairings of cultures may overlap in practice.

Adding the Third Culture

Once the Passport and Host Culture have been established in the Adaptable TCK Model, it’s time to add the Third Culture. I’ve intentionally added the Third Culture as ancillary and off to the side of the Passport and Host Cultures. The model now begins to take shape and looks like this:

Adaptable TCK Model with three cultures

My rationale for placing the Third Culture to the side in that way is for two reasons. First, giving it a positional proximity to the side helps visualize the fact that the Third Culture is neither superior or inferior to either the passport or host cultures. It’s just a different part of who TCKs are. It’s special and unique, however Third Culture describes a TCK, but does not define them. I believe it’s important for Third Culture Kids to get to the point where they can say in their hearts that the Third Culture is a part of who they are, but it is not all they are. 

Second, while nearly every model of Third Culture I’ve seen overlaps with the culture of parents and their Host Culture, in my thinking, Third Culture should actually be set apart and distinct from either (curious, did you read that I-ther or E-ther, because I intended the former). Unlike other “regular” cultures of the world, Third Culture is wholly distinct because it is birthed out of a collision of two or more separate cultural experiences in the context of high mobility. While traditional cultures by definition have homogeneous values, Third Culture is unique. It doesn’t have a geographic reference, a capital, a religion, a language, a special holiday, or nearly anything else that typifies a traditional culture. Yet Dr. Ruth Useem noted in her research the Third Culture, does have sameness despite the kaleidoscope of differences it comes from. 

So, while a Third Culture Kid inevitably adopts pieces of their parent’s culture and their Host Cultures, the Third Culture is distinct from either of those. In my head I hear the beginning of an awkward child/parent conversation that begins with the question, “Mommy, where does Third Culture come from?” The parent stumbles with the words and eventually says, “When two cultures love each other, they sometimes make a new baby culture.” So,  Third Culture is a 1+1=3 equation not a genetic Punnett square. If you take the baby analogy too far, genetically speaking, Third Culture is only made up of a mix of Host and Passport cultures–-and that’s the opposite of what I’m trying to say. 

To drive this home a bit more, if we think about Third Culture as being a distinct culture in the same way we would think of Chinese culture or South African culture, what practical cultural correlations does the Third Culture have with other cultures? Admittedly I’m not a cultural anthropologist in the slightest (I don’t even play one on TV), but when I ponder “normal” world cultures, I wonder if Third Culture has commonalities with any other culture.

In my mind the closest potential cultures to Third Culture might possibly be what I would describe as geographically mobile cultures– for example the Roma or Tuaregs. At some point I would love to see someone do a study on the Roma and/or Tuareg cultures and explore what (if any) similarities might exist between them and the Third Culture. I anticipate that despite, for example, the high mobility associated with the Roma, Roma culture doesn’t overlap significantly with the Third Culture. I would extrapolate that the occasions where Roma kids in their high mobility interact significantly with other cultures, it actually spawns Third Culture. So some Roma may in fact be TCKs. Did anyone say doctoral thesis topic? One, two, three… not it!

Adding the TCK to the Adaptable TCK Model

With the foundations of Passport, Host, and Third Culture, the Adaptable TCK Model goes to a place where no other model I’ve seen goes. The Adaptable TCK Model includes both Third Culture and a Third Culture Kid.

Adaptable TCK Model (Simple) with TCK

In this graphic, an individual TCK is represented with the green triangle shape. Why a triangle? Because it has three sides of course- in keeping with the theme of three! But sincerely, it also graphically helps the individual TCK to stand apart from the different cultures represented by circles.

The model illustrates that a Third Culture Kid captures aspects of their Passport Culture, their Host Culture, and also the Third Culture. In my 20 plus years of experience of working with TCKs, I spend a lot of time highlighting the unique challenges and beautiful benefits of having Third Culture. But at the end of the day, I worry that in my limited time with TCKs, I neglect to reinforce that they also have their other rich cultures to pull from as well (Passport and Host).

I’d also like to highlight that as a Venn Diagram, the Adaptable TCK Model denotes specific unique elements potentially adopted and excluded by a TCK. Sections marked with A, B, C, and D help point out the nuances that exist for the TCK. For example B and C represent mutually exclusive cultural values from their respective Host and Passport Cultures. For example a TCK may adopt each cultural language and become bilingual. The TCK is also likely to naturally and quickly adopt cultural values that overlap between between Host and Passport Cultures denoted in part D.  And while it may not be significant, it’s also possible the TCK does not adopt parts that both Host and Passport Cultures have in common—characteristic A. While not highlighted with a label, TCKs by definition embrace parts of the Third Culture. 

For me, the Venn Diagram allows for good conversations to take place with a TCK. Identifying the way they embrace (or resist) the cultures that are around them and have played a part in their life is a great exercise in understanding personal identity. Within a family unit, even siblings may adopt cultural values differently. This leads to the design of the Adaptable TCK Model to express their TCKness individually.

Even More Adaptable

So, now we come to the second way the Adaptable TCK Model can be adjusted when it comes to practical application. Because not all TCKs are the same. Some embrace the Third Culture– they want to be proverbially branded (for that matter, some literally get tattoos) as part of that culture. While other TCKs, generally those with limited exposure to a Host Culture and low mobility, don’t connect with many of the Third Culture attributes, and they actively deny their claim to Third Culture. 

This is where, in practice, I would have an individual TCK adjust their triangle to best represent who they are as a Third Culture Kid.

Three different TCK experiences shown with the Adaptable TCK Model (TCK Variations)

In the examples above, each triangle is adjusted to fit an individual. So for TCK 1, this Third Culture Kid could spend a significant amount of their life in the US, but only did two short deployments with their parents on a US military compound in South Korea. This diagram allows the TCK to visually say they liked kimchee and to a degree resonate with Third Culture (experienced the grief of mobility), but they really feel quite comfortable with American culture.

TCK 2 might be an individual whose parents are from Colombia, but they have lived almost their entire life in the UK where their parents own a coffee importing business. This TCK has been educated exclusively in UK schools and rarely visits family back in Colombia. TCK 2 speaks English fluently with a British accent but has limited ability to communicate in Spanish. TCK 2 would probably identify themselves more as British than anything else. Yet the influence of both their Passport country and the Third Culture have influence and are evident in their life.

The final example, TCK 3, might be of a Global Nomad who has lived a highly mobile life as a diplomatic kid. The TCKs’ parents are French diplomats and every few years they are moved to a different country. This TCK has attended several international schools and generally boards. She has never really had a chance to put down roots anywhere (well except relationally, because that’s what happens in the Third Culture). TCK 3 would likely not resonate with the idea of living in France for the rest of her life nor with any of the assortment of countries/cultures where her parents have worked. The most significant, constant cultural influence in TCK 3’s life has been the Third Culture.

In all three, I want to note that a TCK usually does not fully embrace the entirety of any of the available cultures. A TCK in a way has an “all you can eat buffet” experience with the cultures impacting them. They pick and choose what they like and don’t like. I think the beauty of a TCK is that they can also pick up elements of a culture for a while (like being event oriented) but then later choose to embrace a time oriented approach to life–picking and choosing whichever best suits the situation. Unfortunately, TCKs are always at the mercy of the dominant culture in which they are currently living. So they exercise their cultural chameleon abilities and do their best to blend in, usually to the detriment to their own personal preferences.

Too many cultures cause chaos!

It is in relation to TCK 3, above, that I would like to acknowledge a known shortcoming of the Adaptable TCK Model.  I haven’t figured out a simple way to allow for multiple Host Cultures (or even Passport Cultures) to overlap appropriately and still interrelate correctly. At best I could squeeze four cultures together, but it’s still not elegant, and it’s is hard to respect the way they share commonalities. For a TCK who has bi-cultural parents (or is adopted from another culture) who has also lived in two additionally unique cultures, they might express themselves something like this…

Adaptable TCK Model (4 Culture Variation)

I know… it’s a mess. But maybe for some of you with those types of complex cultural backgrounds, it resonates with you.

There is no 4th Culture

However it’s in this picture with four “normal” cultures represented alongside the Third Culture I’d like to drive home yet again a frequent misnomer. This graphic depicts why there is no 4th Culture Kid. The number of cultures involved is not where the name (Third Culture Kid) derives its meaning. The Third Culture Kid is named because of their affiliation with the Third Culture. The TCKs can grab from any numerical amount of cultures, but at the end of the day there is only a Third Culture.

Why TCKs connect in the Third Culture

With the groundwork laid on the core of the Adaptable TCK Model, I would like to push it one step further and graphically represent what TCKs have intuitively known… they get each other in ways non-TCKs generally can’t. Even if TCKs have limited or no corresponding Host and Passport Cultures, they find unique community and understanding together in Dr. Ruth Useem’s Third Culture space.

Adaptable TCK Models (The TCK Connection)

So in the final layer, this diagram depicts why two individual TCKs find a bond within the Third Culture. Each triangle represents a different TCK. They each have different sets of Passports and Host Cultures. But their global nomad lifestyles have birthed their shared Third Culture attributes. It is there they find a common ground. They experience that beautiful and, unfortunately, all too rare experience of a kindred spirit– found only in that interstitial space between cultures. It’s the “neither/nor” as Ruth Van Reken calls it. A space where transition hardships, grief/loss, airline stories, language blunders, wanderlust, and so much more is the vernacular.

Back to the RVR model

Ruth shared with me that in the early days when she presented her Third Culture model, she would layer the Third Culture transparency on top of the Host and Passport Culture (for those of you who remember the days of overhead transparencies, you’ll get that). She took a three dimensional explanation into a 2 dimensional projection in a beautiful way. 

Between the 2nd edition and the 3rd edition of the Third Culture Kid book, the publisher reproduced her model differently.

RVR Third CUlture Models 2nd Edition and 3rd Edition

The variation between the two does make a difference. The version from the 2nd edition communicates closer to the way she would present it live. The third edition version of the model turns it into a Venn Diagram. The bold outline emphasizes the Third Culture, but the overlaps of the circles present questions. Rumors have it that there is a 4th edition of the TCK Book in the works. Time will tell.

I still like Ruth Van Reken’s model. It’s just simple and easy to understand. It communicates well the key principles of Third Culture. Honestly, I’ll keep sharing and teaching it because it remains the standard and is widely recognized.

So where does this leave things? 

Whichever TCK model you use or speaks to your heart (well, hopefully not one of the flawed models from the second article in this series), let’s continue to celebrate the Third Culture and Third Culture Kids. Let’s recognize this culture’s diversity and beauty. TCKs, I invite you to play with the Adaptable TCK Model to see if it will help you better communicate who you are now and also who you were at various stages of your life.

Let’s continue to build a better awareness of Third Culture, a hidden culture among cultures, with the hopes TCKs will feel less isolated and misunderstood. As Third Culture is being brought slowly into mainstream conversations, my hope is TCKs everywhere might begin to finally experience a sense of belonging. Maybe, dare I say it, TCKs might even experience a sense of home.

 

PS – I’d like to give a special thanks to Holly Baldwin who turned my scrawlings into beautiful graphics far exceeding my expectations. Thank you to Matt Jones, John Barclay and Ruth Van Reken who gave rich feedback. And of course a big thank you to “princess” Sheryl O’Bryan for many long discussions coupled with heaps of encouragement- you got me to put this into words and share it with the wider community. 

 


Bret Taylor is the Interim Executive Director of Interaction International. He’s been working with MKs/TCKs since 1999. He is co-host of TCK Live, directs the Transit Lounge programs, presents at Foundations of Organizational MK/TCK Care, chairs MKCS, and helps with Among Worlds–Interaction International’s magazine for and by Adult Third Culture Kids.

How Are You Doing? – A Poem

How Are You Doing?

By Abigail de Vuyst

from Among Worlds – Politics & Public Service – June 2022


 

“How are you doing?”

They routinely ask me this morning

“I’m okay,” I say, a regular response

They haven’t seen the news yet

“How are you doing?”

“I’m alright,” I say, as I hold back tears

I can’t look anyone in the face

They wonder what is going on with me

They haven’t made the connection

“How are you doing?”

Some ask, as they rush over to give me a hug

Every hug today is a little longer

They know the situation

I can’t even answer

I just cry

“How are you doing?”

My professor asks me as I enter the empty classroom

“They’re bombing my city” is all I can say

“Oh no,” they mutter

They remember where I’m from

I collapse into their caring arms

“How are you doing?”

“Have you seen the news,” I say

They do a quick search

“The missiles in Ukraine?” they ask

“Yeah, Russia declared war”

Thankfully, that’s enough of an answer

“How are you doing?

I saw the news

Are you okay?”

“I didn’t sleep last night,” I say

Pity engulfs their face

“I can’t even imagine,” they say

“How are you doing?”

“I’m from Ukraine,” I say

“If you need to talk, go ahead,”

The stranger says in my meeting

I appreciate the care

“How are you doing?”

I sigh; I know I am safe with them

“It’s been a hard day”

They help me process,

Cry with me and pray with me

“How are you doing?”

A bright happy smile

Crossing my path

“I’m good,” I say; I lie

I want to be upset—they don’t realize my situation

But their joyful smile instead

Gives me a moment of hope

I hope that one day

My people can again smile

Without the constant fear and thought of war

“How are you doing?”

I don’t know what to say

The truth is I don’t know how I am doing

I feel like my inside has been ripped open and someone is digging around inside, trying to steal my heart

I guess that is what is happening

Someone is stealing my heart

Ukraine has always been my heart

Ukraine will always be my heart

Слава Україні!


Abigail de Vuyst grew up in Ukraine as a TCK/MK. She is currently studying at university in Michigan.

 

Diplomatically Speaking

Diplomatically Speaking

By Jonathan S. Addleton

from Among Worlds – Politics & Public Service – June 2022


“Can a TCK honestly and faithfully serve their passport country in a foreign affairs role?”

Hard questions are appropriate at the outset of any career—and throughout the career that follows, regardless of which path it takes.

Having been born and raised in the Himalayas as the child of American missionaries to Pakistan, my path included a thirty-two-year career as a US Foreign Service Officer, involving assignments in ten countries: Afghanistan, Belgium, Cambodia, India, Jordan, Kazakhstan, Mongolia, Pakistan, South Africa, and Yemen.

My passport country—the United States—is not included in that list because I never served there. Indeed, possibly my biggest achievement is that I managed to avoid working in Washington, D.C., the true “hardship post” for those motivated primarily by operational rather than headquarters-based interests and concerns.

And yet, looking back, I have to think that I made more of a difference as a career US Foreign Service Officer than in any other career I might have imagined. Certainly, the gifts of a TCK childhood—including an ability to cross the lines of class, culture, and nationality from an early age—helped strengthen the qualities of empathy and understanding that are essential for diplomatic success.

“Can a TCK honestly and faithfully serve their passport country in a foreign affairs role?”

Jonathan S. Addleton as a child

At a more technical level, the fact that my diplomatic career centered largely on USAID was clearly linked to vivid childhood experiences in some of the most remote corners of Pakistan. Having witnessed death, disease, and poverty from an early age, I determined early on that my calling in life was to work to help alleviate it.

Of course, a more fundamental question is centered on the implied dual loyalties involved in taking on an official government role rather than, say, working for a seemingly more neutral private company or non-governmental organization (NGO).

That possibility crossed my idealistic mind when I completed university in the late 1970s and considered the various institutional contexts in which I might seek employment. Among other things, I imagined that a career in a multilateral organization—perhaps the United Nations— might be a better fit for a TCK. Or, perhaps, I could engage more effectively within the NGO community, with its thick network of connections crossing multiple borders and involving many nationalities, a world in which I briefly thought, perhaps naively, that passports somehow wouldn’t matter very much.

But, of course, passports do matter, at least in an international system defined in significant part by nearly two hundred nation-states engaged in relationships with each other at all levels including in economics, security, culture, diplomacy, and development. And even if multiple passports are acquired over the course of a lifetime, choices must still be made about which one to use.

“A TCK childhood helped strengthen the qualities of empathy and understanding that are essential for diplomatic success.” 

Here, too, I think of the countless migrants to the United States, those who were born with a different nationality and a different passport yet ended up representing this country as diplomats at the most senior levels, combining a love of their new country with an appreciation for the circumstances which had led them to the US in the first place. Perhaps the most obvious example here is America’s first female Secretary of State, Madeleine Albright, who was born in the former Czechoslovakia and arrived in the US as a refugee.

For my part, I had little difficulty accepting the idea that the American passport gifted to me by my parents was and would remain a significant part of my identity, even if I wasn’t born there— and that I could honestly and faithfully serve that part of my identity, even in an official context that could at times involve policies with which I might disagree.

Eighteen months ago, the New York Times published a series of reflections from across the US under the headline “What Does It Mean to Love Your Country?” The article appeared just prior to the 2020 elections, reflecting a fractured and polarized nation seemingly on the verge of civil war. And yet the submissions were filled with hope and compassion, some written by recent immigrants and others by contributors with roots in the US extending back for centuries:

“Be proud of it but not afraid to confront its problems and work to solve them.”

“To love this country is to look clear-eyed at its promises and its practices, working to bridge the gap between them.”

“You can’t love your country without loving its fellow citizens, and the truest expression of that love is the willingness to sacrifice for others.”

“Love of country is to seek its betterment. I express that love by caring for those who are disenfranchised, misunderstood and in need.”

“I have dual citizenship with Ireland and have seriously considered leaving America. But while I honor other countries, I love ours and cannot bring myself to leave.”

Although not always properly articulated when I embarked on my diplomatic career, these sentiments resonate very strongly with me, perhaps now more than ever. I am proud to have officially represented my passport country for more than three decades, having been afforded numerous opportunities to demonstrate certain values reflecting that imperfect passport country at its best, while also working with others to help make the world beyond the borders of my passport country a better place.


Born and raised in Pakistan, Jonathan S. Addleton served as US Ambassador to Mongolia and USAID Mission Director in Mongolia, India, Pakistan, Cambodia, and Central Asia, among other assignments. He retired from the US Foreign Service in January 2017 and is now Rector/President of Forman Christian College (a Chartered University) in Lahore, Pakistan.

Jonathan S. Addleton has written several books including Undermining the Center (Oxford University Press); The Dust of Kandahar (Naval Institute Press); Mongolia and the United States: A Diplomatic History (Hong Kong University Press); and a memoir of his TCK childhood in Pakistan titled Some Far and Distant Place (University of Georgia Press).